I tell my friends that next time I'll hit him, and they take that as a suggestion to get out of the car.
I am on a 1-way, 2-lane road, I am in the left lane. At the next intersection it becomes a two-way road. He is standing in the middle of the lane I am in, on the other side of the intersection. I signal to merge right, but the cars quickly fill up the gap and won't let me. There is no traffic from the other direction, and the guy is daring me to hit him as I angle to merge out of the lane. I am driving at half an mph, he stands his ground shouting something about Berkeley's pedestrian right-of-way law, and as my bumper touches his leg he does a phony stage fall away from me, holding onto his leg, still shouting.
I don't see any cops, but to be safe I head toward a shop on my left which has its door open. Somehow I am riding my bicycle now, and the shop looks like it is either a children's bike store or a place where children park their bikes. The floor is hardwood, so probably the latter. As I put down the kick stand, I say to myself "If the cops take away my bike, I can always take BART home".