Last night's tech rehearsal was a huge mess. The SM has managed to find one crew person. Another was brought in by one of the leading ladies, but apparently this victim was not really interested in being on the crew, and sat the whole thing out. The SM had put together an assignment sheet, using the cast as crew, which he had pulled out of his ass the night before, without regard to who was physically unable to move a huge set piece, or who was needed in that scene (or the one before it) and could not be crew for that bit. So there were a lot of changes, usually not made until after a FAIL, so many of the moves were done several times, but only once with the people who will actually make them.
I only had two assignments. One was to "take the bar sign offstage". We don't have a bar sign. Yes we do, he said, pointing to a HUGE flat propped up against the back wall. It will be on a track, he said, all I have to do is push it offstage along the track. But we have no tracks which go offstage, they all end at the edge of the stage. And if we did, they would block people from getting onstage.
The other assignment was to help put a huge set piece back into a place it was pulled out from earlier. Even though he had no reason to do so, he asked how I felt about also moving it out. I said I was not keen on that idea. It would mean that I would have to hang around backstage for an extra 10-15 minutes instead of being able to sit in the dressing room during one of the few times in Act 1 I don't have to be backstage. And he didn't bother to tell the guy he wanted me to replace that he was being replaced, so the guy did the move, and the SM yelled at me. I yelled back.
To add to the fun, the co-producer who had been off scuba diving in Cozumel was back, and he was all over the set, not volunteering to help on crew, making inane suggestions. Part of his job is to recruit crew, and failing that he should be stepping up to help on crew. Along with the other co-producer who is 6'8" and would be insanely helpful as a crew member with this huge set.
And then after we were "done" at 9, scuba boy had the nerve to lecture us on how tech is not fun. Shit. Tech can be fun, if it's organized, planned, and there is actual crew. And if the set was not built for Brobdingnagians.
So tonight is the birthday of a friend, and he is having a small dinner party at NoLA to which I have just been invited. I think this constitutes a family emergency, and will be texting my absence to the SM later this afternoon.