Mister Eclectic (howeird) wrote,
Mister Eclectic

Mini-Review: Troy

The only reason I watched this movie was to see if the woman playing Helen had a face which could launch 1,000 ships. I'd say Diane Kruger's face could maybe launch a couple of U-boats, and what they showed of her body could bring home a couple of Russian trawlers, but that's about it. Brad Pitt is seriously buff in this movie, and I suspect the look disappointed his original fan base, and probably won over the Russel Crowe crowd, now that Crowe has abandoned the he-man look in favor of actual acting.

The show is seriously mis-cast all the way through, I can't see any woman giving up a kingdom for wimpy Orlando Bloom. Eric Bana is totally unconvincing as BattlePrince, and whose idea was it to give Peter O'Toole the role of angst-ridden king, anyway?

Most of the film was viewed in fast forward, since most of the film was huge battle scenes which went on for way too long, with very little drama. And the Trojan Horse was the ugliest thing I have ever seen. Gag me.

Glad I missed it in the theaters.


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