Mister Eclectic (howeird) wrote,
Mister Eclectic
howeird

Porch Talk

Starbuck's summer slogan is "Life's better on the porch". Lame. I never lived in a house with a porch in my 20 or so years in Seattle. My first house on the SF peninsula, in the area between Redwood City and Atherton, had a porch which the landlord had boarded up in front (the previous tenants wanted it enclosed for child care and street noise reasons) and within a week of moving in, the house was burglarized (probably by my next door neighbor) by using the porch entry - with the enclosure, they could not be seen from the street. Life was not better on the porch for me that day.

I've never had a porch before or since. But we had a porch at a couple of my childhood vacation homes. I mostly remember fighting the mosquitoes and being on the porch swing when the chains broke.

Nope, life is definitely not better on the porch.
Obligatory porch joke:

Homeless man is going door to door in the 'burbs asking if anyone needs any handyman work done. One classy business woman who is working from home that day tells him, yes, he can go out back and paint the porch. "There's a couple of cans of brown paint, and bushes and rollers back there," she said, "and please clean them when you're done. Come back up front and I'll pay you $100."

A couple of hours later, her knocks on the front door again, and tells the nice lady he's done. "But I have to tell you, lady, that isn't really a porch."
"Oh?", she says, "what is it, then?"

"That there's a Ferrari".
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